I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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