Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
