after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
