Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
