i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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