In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
