mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
