you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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