It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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