you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
