my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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