Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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