Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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