hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
