Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
