just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
