forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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