which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
