I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
