i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize