I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
