I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
