I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
