i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
