What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
