I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
