Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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