yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize