I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I deserve to be covered in dicks
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
