I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
