dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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