Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
