i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
