Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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