omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
