I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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