i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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