Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
