She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
