Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
