Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
