Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
