Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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