My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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