And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
