i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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