I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize