you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
