i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Text me some of your sweat
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
