the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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