are you still at the devil's house?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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