and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
