Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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