Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
