Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
