We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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