I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
