I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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