What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
