there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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